1. First, watch the videos “Viewing feedback and cleaning up a draft” found in the Writing Resources.
2. Then download this annotated copy of the Gettysburg Address. At this point, the file is likely to be “read-only,” so you will need to save your own copy before you can start to edit it.
3. Use “save as” to save the file under a new name. The new filename must contain your last name and the name of the assignment “using feedback.”

Make sure you are seeing all tracked changes and comments, as shown in the videos. You’re going to pretend that you are Honest Abe, a student in a college writing course, and this is a draft your professor has returned to you with feedback. Do NOT create a new document or retype anything. You are going to work with THIS FILE!

Use the instructions in the videos to:

• Accept all insertions and deletions in the body of the document.
• Reject the insertion of the student note at the end (Hi Abe, Very moving speech!) You want that thing gone.
• Follow instructions in comments. Be careful! Some of them require you to find and fix additional instances of the same problem. Some require you to do a little rewriting of your own.
• Delete comments. Your new copy must be 100% cleaned up!
• Do NOT make any other changes! That includes anything that Word’s grammar- or spell-checkers may recommend and errors you might catch on your own. Ordinarily, you’d be encouraged to make those kinds of changes, but for the sake of this assignment, just ignore anything that isn’t mentioned in a comment or corrected in a tracked change.
• Make sure you save before uploading your revised copy!

Four score and Eighty-seven[B(C1] years ago our fathers[B(C2] brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate – we can not consecrate – we can not hallow —[B(C3] this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember, what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. [B(C4]It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us — that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion — that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain — that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom — and that government of the people, by the peourple, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.

Hi Abe,

Very moving speech!

Abraham Lincoln November 19, 1863

This text is deliberately hidden to verify that you modified the existing document. If you happen to notice it, please ignore it completely.

[B(C1]Avoid archaic language.

[B(C2]Choose a different word that is not gender-specific but conveys the same concept. Check the rest of the document for gender-biased language.

[B(C3]Replace with an em-dash, like the ones before and after “we can not consecrate.” Copy one of the previous ones and paste it here. Replace all double hyphens with an em-dash.

[B(C4]Wonderful concept! But can you say it more simply and directly?

Using feedback assignment-Sample Solution

Gettysburg Address

One hundred and sixty-seven years ago everyone’s parents brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all people are created equal.(Feedback assignment essay example)

Now everybody are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. Everyone are met on a great battle-field of that war. Everyone have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that everybody should do this.(Feedback assignment essay example)

But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate – we can not consecrate – we can not hallow – this ground. The brave people, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above everyone’s poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember, what everybody say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for everyone the living to finish the work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. Everybody should be dedicated to the great task remaining before them – that from these honored dead everyone take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion – that everybody here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain – that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom – and that government of the people, by the peourple, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.(Feedback assignment essay example)